Apple are trying very hard to make the Apple Watch their first true luxury product; a fashion accessory that appeals to the upper end of the economic spectrum. Thankfully, the world at large is bringing Apple back down to earth in comic fashion, by crafting some of the most dreadful straps possible.
Make a mess of Apple’s options
Apple has done pretty well to make their collections look good, but it’s still possible to end up with the ugly duckling of the Apple Watch world by trying some unorthodox combinations. Mark Gurman provided an excellent start to the proceedings using the website mixyourwatch.com, which lets you play with all possible combinations.
Here are the worst looking Apple Watch combinations I could come up with pic.twitter.com/2sTi6T3ebt
— Mark Gurman (@markgurman) March 4, 2015
I’m definitely a fan of combining the most expensive watch case, the £9,460 18-carat gold, with the cheapest strap, the £39 fluoroelastomer. Of course, we also have to make it the loudest colour available as well:
Perfect.
Pick up some awful third-party alternatives
Probably the most well-popularised third-party strap is the Reserve Strap, which actually charges your Apple Watch with its own integrated batteries. That’s pretty damn useful, but looks pretty clunky and childish:
Of course, you can do more to your Apple Watch than just put a terrible band on it. You can also put it in a box with this line of Apple Watch cases from designed by many. The case provides additional protection, but also make your Watch considerably thicker, heavier and uglier.
Mashable also produced a list of Apple Watch strap concepts, which are by and in large reasonable… but also include some rather deliberately awful ideas, including a plaid watch, a reversible plastic/leather option and the obligatory tie dye.
I’m sure we’ll see even more 3rd party Apple Watch straps in the weeks to come.
Choose your own terrible look
Custom phone cases have grown in popularity over the last five years, allowing users to choose their own designs to adorn their phones. This has allowed people to make some surprisingly beautiful and individually meaningful cases, but has also let trolls and design illiterates craft wonderfully terrible stuff. Casetify is letting people do the same for the Apple Watch, which should prove interesting for such a visible accessory. Even their site is in on the joke, asking “your #selfie on your watch band? Err… why not!”
Unlocking a wider world of questionable straps
Of course, you shouldn’t feel limited to just Apple Watch straps if you want your watch to push the boundaries of bad taste. A couple of crowd-funded adapters have been launched since the Watch’s announcement, which seek to marry Apple’s proprietary slide-in locking mechanism with standard 22mm straps. With these in place, you’ll be able to choose from a much wider range of awful watch bands. You can pick up an ill-suiting strap from a retailer online, or just take off your sweaty casio strap and use that. Nice.
Have we missed some top-tier ugly Apple Watch straps? And what do you think of our selections? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @mobilefun!