Feel like James Bond, treated like an Alien
When my LG G Watch first arrived, I was like a kid in a sweet shop (candy shop for any of our friends over the pond).
I removed MY new G Watch, and after fumbling around looking for an 'on switch' for several minutes, I admitted defeat and reached for the user-guide.
Having glanced over it briefly in the very male "just find the bit I need to read and ditch the user guide" fashion, I removed the magnetic charging dock from the box and plugged it in.
I booted 'The Watch' up and immediately finding it needed a software update...hit install...only to be faced with the message "Battery 8%, charge before update". Why oh why would you do this to me?
I had to pretty much forget I had The Watch for the next couple of hours while I charged it to full, resisting the temptation to play.
After what seemed to be the longest two hours the Universe has ever dragged me through - it was charged and ready for installation of the software update.
I carefully wrapped the watch around my wrist and gasped slightly as the screen knocked against my cufflink, I now need to be aware of my clumsy limbs knocking this against any walls that jump out at me in the future.
I opened the Android Wear application on my HTC One M8 and paired it. Now I was connected, now, I am invincible.
With saliva still running from my mouth with excitement, I am comforted by The Watch being IP67 "dust/water/drool" resistant.
It was now lunchtime, I had an hour to get back to my local village pharmacy and pick up a prescription, and hell yeah...I suddenly need directions from The Watch to get there! IT guided me, turn by turn, right from my wrist, that is cool.
Arriving at the pharmacy, I stretched out my arms onto the counter, I received a Hangout message from a friend, hit reply and spoke to my wrist...the female pharmacist stared at me, stared at The Watch, looked back at me, hurriedly packed my prescription and thrust it towards me, she wanted me out! I am an alien to her! What had she just seen? Is this man from the future? No but I damn well feel like it - I am Doc, all I needed now was a DeLorean!
The Watch directed me back to work (yes I still needed directions for the journey I do on a daily basis) and upon arrival at my relatively normal, non-futuristic looking desk, I needed to get looking for more apps.
Oh, oh no, it isn't? It is! Someone has already released "Flopsy Droid"...yet another copy of that cult classic "Flappy Bird"...but now I can play it on The Watch! I was never into it initially, but if there is a reason for installing something just so you can show people how far ahead from time you have travelled, that is it.
I'm already finding it relatively normal walking through the offices at work having a conversation with my wrist, with people taking a wide berth as they pass me, afraid that I'm going to experiment on them with my probe.
Why aren't we all wearing The Watch? The people that do stay near me long enough to hold a conversation just think it's laziness, but until you feel the aura of power that suddenly envelopes you as you wrap The Watch around your wrist, you just won't understand. You need to be at one with The Watch, to understand The Watch.
If you're reading this and thinking I sound a little detached from reality, you couldn't be further from the truth. I am the future, and you, are just a mere mortal. When you become one with The Watch, when you have read this and decided to part with a very small sum of coinage to take delivery of this magnificent, God like feeling, rest assured you will not be disappointed.
You're waiting for the Moto 360 I hear you cry? You're waiting for something that has never been seen working, you're waiting for the "traditional" circular face, break from tradition, that is after all, what technology is all about...
If you buy this, they will come.
N.b - I accept no responsibility for any failures of The Watch to give you the God-like powers I have described, this is merely a review of the power that has befallen me. And as you can see from my review...I am on medication.
Buy The Watch!
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